A Pirate Looks at 37?
My birthday is next week and as I approach 37, I'm amazed at all the wonderful things I've been able to do and say. I'm also writing this today, February 24, very bittersweetly as this is the anniversary of my best friend's murder. Everything changed 13 years ago when Peyton entered our home in Denver to find a man from a local halfway house waiting in our home. He was a 6'5', 350 lb pound monster and needless to say, Peyton was brutally killed and raped. He received life in prison with no parole and I must say that when they didn't give him the death penalty, I was shocked, but as Matthew Shepard's mom put it when his killers received the same, "At least I won't have to see them every year when they want to appeal their conviction". And it's so true.
I haven't seen his face since 2000 and I'm happy about that. Not to say that his mug isn't burned into my memory...it is. But I am grateful I don't have to make a trip to Colorado every couple of years to be reminded of what a scum he truly is.
(To find out more about Peyton, visit her mom's site www.peytontuthill.org)
If you would have asked me 12 years ago where my life would be, I wouldn't think it would be here. Since her tragic death, I've been blessed with many opportunities. I got jobs that were truly not even in my realm, I met wonderful folks I never thought I'd meet, I started my own business and I married the best man ever...so beneath all the drama and death that has surrounded me, I'm thankful for everything I have received.
This past year has been a rollercoaster with ups and downs....the biggest one was my mom suffering from a major heart attack...only to live-- which they didn't expect. Sure, it wasn't an easy recovery as she's going to learn how to walk with a prosthetic leg after losing her leg from a bedsore gone awry. But I got a second chance with her, one that I've been grateful for. I feel like since I didn't get that second chance with Peyton, I've been honored with one with my mom. And I'm going to embrace every chance I get to be with her.
As a eternal pessimist mixed with a little bit of a realist, I am looking at turning 37 as the glass half full (of hopefully wine! ha) Many of my friends may be shocked to hear that I say that, as they know how candid I am about life in general. But I like this lightness I'm feeling.
Usually, I use this blog to highlight Nelwater but today I felt I needed you to see why Nelwater is what it is and why I'm thankful to be a successful business owner. It's because, in my opinion, you put in everything you can... sure, there's going to be some really crummy days....but the good ones outweigh the bad. And it makes living a whole lot of fun.
I had a thought today which put everything in perspective, I thought about how depressed and sad I was when mom was in a coma, knowing in my mind she wasn't going to make it. I wondered if life would ever be normal again...and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel spending months in a hospital. Then I was reminded that I felt that same way when Peyton died and the years I spent in courtrooms...I never thought it would end. But it DID. Which may me look back and feel so grateful for those hard times (granted, I don't want ANY MORE for a long while - ha!) but I know that hard times make us who we are...we should be proud of them and never be afraid to share our story.
Every year on New Year's Eve, I make one statement out loud that for what I want for the upcoming year -- sometimes it was crazy and outlandish so much so Darren would laugh -- sometimes it was small and humble and you know what? They have all come true. For 2011, I wanted to write for the Post and Courier and that came true and I'm thankful for the opportunity.
But on New Year's Eve this year, I was too busy and down with life that I forgot to do this. So for 2012, I want to continue building Nelwater but also.....hmmmm....
I want to tell the story of others, write a book and get the hell out of town every once in a while to relax. That's not too much to ask the universe, right?
Nah...I didn't think so either.
Cheers,
Ryan
I haven't seen his face since 2000 and I'm happy about that. Not to say that his mug isn't burned into my memory...it is. But I am grateful I don't have to make a trip to Colorado every couple of years to be reminded of what a scum he truly is.
(To find out more about Peyton, visit her mom's site www.peytontuthill.org)
If you would have asked me 12 years ago where my life would be, I wouldn't think it would be here. Since her tragic death, I've been blessed with many opportunities. I got jobs that were truly not even in my realm, I met wonderful folks I never thought I'd meet, I started my own business and I married the best man ever...so beneath all the drama and death that has surrounded me, I'm thankful for everything I have received.
This past year has been a rollercoaster with ups and downs....the biggest one was my mom suffering from a major heart attack...only to live-- which they didn't expect. Sure, it wasn't an easy recovery as she's going to learn how to walk with a prosthetic leg after losing her leg from a bedsore gone awry. But I got a second chance with her, one that I've been grateful for. I feel like since I didn't get that second chance with Peyton, I've been honored with one with my mom. And I'm going to embrace every chance I get to be with her.
As a eternal pessimist mixed with a little bit of a realist, I am looking at turning 37 as the glass half full (of hopefully wine! ha) Many of my friends may be shocked to hear that I say that, as they know how candid I am about life in general. But I like this lightness I'm feeling.
Usually, I use this blog to highlight Nelwater but today I felt I needed you to see why Nelwater is what it is and why I'm thankful to be a successful business owner. It's because, in my opinion, you put in everything you can... sure, there's going to be some really crummy days....but the good ones outweigh the bad. And it makes living a whole lot of fun.
I had a thought today which put everything in perspective, I thought about how depressed and sad I was when mom was in a coma, knowing in my mind she wasn't going to make it. I wondered if life would ever be normal again...and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel spending months in a hospital. Then I was reminded that I felt that same way when Peyton died and the years I spent in courtrooms...I never thought it would end. But it DID. Which may me look back and feel so grateful for those hard times (granted, I don't want ANY MORE for a long while - ha!) but I know that hard times make us who we are...we should be proud of them and never be afraid to share our story.
Every year on New Year's Eve, I make one statement out loud that for what I want for the upcoming year -- sometimes it was crazy and outlandish so much so Darren would laugh -- sometimes it was small and humble and you know what? They have all come true. For 2011, I wanted to write for the Post and Courier and that came true and I'm thankful for the opportunity.
But on New Year's Eve this year, I was too busy and down with life that I forgot to do this. So for 2012, I want to continue building Nelwater but also.....hmmmm....
I want to tell the story of others, write a book and get the hell out of town every once in a while to relax. That's not too much to ask the universe, right?
Nah...I didn't think so either.
Cheers,
Ryan
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